A look back
Well, this blogging thing is new for me and I don't exactly know what to write and what not. But still, it's not bad. If you are reading this I recommend that you read my previous post first. And if you have already, just don't share it with anyone. Well you can but just very few trusted people. Now let's get to it.
So I use this blog to bitch about my problems. Which surprisingly are not that bad. I mean so what I had a crush. It's common, give it a month or two. It'll fade away. Not exactly. It's almost 4 years since I realised. And don't know how long I've had it. But it's weird and confusing. Sometimes I think "do I really?" And sometimes I think "Ofcourse you idiot." I mean it's not like I think about her all the time but when I do, I can't keep track of time. When I see her it's like Christmas Eve in my head. All the excitement and enthusiasm. But last that happened a long time ago.
So, in this post I thought of asking for help to confirm. But deep down I know that I do. It's just that it has caused a really adverse effect on my brain. And my brain is really an effing magician. I mean, I can make myself believe anything. So sometimes I'm forced to think about what I think. See all my life, I've just hidden my emotions from everyone. And I'm so addicted to it that I don't know how to bring them out. And the thinking on how to express is stressful which is not good for a heart patient. Although i don't let that be any weakness but when it happens it really hurts, physically. Lot of chest pain. But let's leave that. And let's continue the story.
Yeah, so where was I? Okay. Wait, let me check the previous one. Okay. Alright. So you know the base. So let's just start the story.
When I was about 3yrs old I had a friend. She and I were neighbours and we were playing in her front yard. Suddenly a car stopped in front of the next house. And a family of five came out. A father, mother, grandma and two young girls. One was our age and the other was older. We didn't care and continued playing. And then the young girl came at our door and said 'Can I play with you?' We were kids, and she was the same age as ours. So we said yes. Gradually, we three became the best of the friends. (You know it's gonna be real difficult to refer to them without names and I can't reveal the real names, copyright claims, so the boy is Josh, the first girl is Amanda, the elder sister is Sarah and the younger sister is Jennifer.) So Josh, Amanda and Jennifer were the best of friends. Although Amy and Jenny considered themselves "BFFs", Jenny would always rather spend time with Josh. Josh and Amanda were in the same school but Jenny was in another. This, however, changed when Jenny changed the school from the sixth grade. Now all three were in the same school and in the same bus. Josh was a moody kid back then. He didn't like it when he was teased and was having trouble tolerating all the "girlfriend-boyfriend" chants that his friends made when they saw him with Jenny..........
Let's wrap it up for now. Thanks for tolerating.
So I use this blog to bitch about my problems. Which surprisingly are not that bad. I mean so what I had a crush. It's common, give it a month or two. It'll fade away. Not exactly. It's almost 4 years since I realised. And don't know how long I've had it. But it's weird and confusing. Sometimes I think "do I really?" And sometimes I think "Ofcourse you idiot." I mean it's not like I think about her all the time but when I do, I can't keep track of time. When I see her it's like Christmas Eve in my head. All the excitement and enthusiasm. But last that happened a long time ago.
So, in this post I thought of asking for help to confirm. But deep down I know that I do. It's just that it has caused a really adverse effect on my brain. And my brain is really an effing magician. I mean, I can make myself believe anything. So sometimes I'm forced to think about what I think. See all my life, I've just hidden my emotions from everyone. And I'm so addicted to it that I don't know how to bring them out. And the thinking on how to express is stressful which is not good for a heart patient. Although i don't let that be any weakness but when it happens it really hurts, physically. Lot of chest pain. But let's leave that. And let's continue the story.
Yeah, so where was I? Okay. Wait, let me check the previous one. Okay. Alright. So you know the base. So let's just start the story.
When I was about 3yrs old I had a friend. She and I were neighbours and we were playing in her front yard. Suddenly a car stopped in front of the next house. And a family of five came out. A father, mother, grandma and two young girls. One was our age and the other was older. We didn't care and continued playing. And then the young girl came at our door and said 'Can I play with you?' We were kids, and she was the same age as ours. So we said yes. Gradually, we three became the best of the friends. (You know it's gonna be real difficult to refer to them without names and I can't reveal the real names, copyright claims, so the boy is Josh, the first girl is Amanda, the elder sister is Sarah and the younger sister is Jennifer.) So Josh, Amanda and Jennifer were the best of friends. Although Amy and Jenny considered themselves "BFFs", Jenny would always rather spend time with Josh. Josh and Amanda were in the same school but Jenny was in another. This, however, changed when Jenny changed the school from the sixth grade. Now all three were in the same school and in the same bus. Josh was a moody kid back then. He didn't like it when he was teased and was having trouble tolerating all the "girlfriend-boyfriend" chants that his friends made when they saw him with Jenny..........
Let's wrap it up for now. Thanks for tolerating.
Comments