Plan in Motion

Well, I guess the moment of truth is, one way or another, coming soon. Talked to Amy about the Jenny stuff last night. Had a great chat about it and she volunteered to talk to Jenny for me. No, she won't tell her that I sent her but she will tell Jenny that she talked to me and we'll see what she says, I don't know how I feel about it. I don't generally prefer to involve others in my business and I don't know how I feel about letting Amy talk to her on my behalf. But whether Jenny agrees to talk to me or not, this chapter is coming to an end. I realize that what I wanted from her was some effort, in any form really. Even if it is just to scream "fuck off" at Amy. I suppose the mere acknowledgement from her that I exist could help me get closure. I guess the thing that's been bugging me the most is that she will always be a part of my life, I can never pretend she's a stranger. But, it feels like for her I am a stranger already. So, maybe some acknowledgement from her side could be cathartic for me, I guess. 

On to better and happier topics, I made poor Amy feel real bad yesterday by giving her FOMO. For those who aren't up to date with lingo, as in people like me, FOMO means fear of missing out, evidently. But, yeah. Had a fun chat with her last night. Talked about a lot of things, beating around the George bush. Told her some things from our childhood that I thought she knew. Though I do feel bad for her. I ghosted her along with Jenny because I thought she's close to her, so I should distance myself from her. She would anyways take Jenny's side, I thought. Jenny distanced her too, for the same reason Amy tells me. Poor little child, fucked over from both sides. I also found out that Jen and Ames were never that close growing up. Speaking of growing up, guess who hasn't done it? Jenny. Bingo! Okay, okay, cheap shot, but I don't take it back. I know Jenny don't read this blog anyway.

Well, here's to old friends and new beginnings. I hope we stay in touch and become as close as we used to be. Afterall, my past has a nasty habit of coming back to life and biting me in the ass. Amen to those who I've lost and godspeed to those I'm about to meet because, you don't know me yet, but you're gonna need a lot of luck and mental strength to deal with me. Anyways, the next time I upload another blog, hopefully this chapter will be closed once and for all. Hasta la vista, bitches!!!!!