British Golden Rule

 Is it the differences that seperate us so? Or is it the personal beliefs that hinder our relationships? Is it because of the way we were brought up? Or is it because of our past experiences that divide us so unequivocally? Did some outsider pit us against each other or did we do it ourselves? 

Many of us feel alone and lonely sometimes. We feel like there's no one we can talk to. I feel like that sometimes, right now being one of them. And it seems that if I was in an emergency, I wouldn't know who to call... If this was an emergency where I need to empty my heart and let it air out, I don't know who I would go to. Who would be willing to listen and help me the way I need them to? I have a few close friends. People who I would trust with my life. Then why does it feel so weird to trust them with this? What differences are these that separate us so? Why is it that we are so close yet when it comes to talking our hearts out, so far away?

I know that for most part, I am to blame. I don't share my feelings with others. I choose to handle it alone because that's how it should be. But even if I could summon the guts to talk to someone and ask for help, why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like I'm betraying my friends Hugsy, Blossoms, Hyuna and all of them. I know for a fact, that they will understand. Yet there's a barrier separating us so. And I don't know what it is. There's this sweet girl I've been talking to lately. We'll call her Dory, why not. So Dory here is quite adorable and fun to hang out with. I've already told her probably a few of my deepest secrets because for some reason, I felt comfortable doing so. And she's pretty much what I am looking for when it comes to dating. But I can't seem to find a way to approach this conversation with her, because again there's a barrier. On the other hand, I met this woman through her younger sister. She too seems quite likable. But then what is stopping me from pursuing either of these eligible women? I know that Dory is the one I'm more interested in but I'm sure that dating either of them would be a good decision. Yet, there are differences that separate us so. And I wouldn't know where to start. I can't seem to break through this invisible ceiling while everyone who's less capable, less deserving are already far above. What am I missing here?