Up All Night or Up In Smoke

 Am I up all night today? Or is it all going up in smoke? I suppose I won't know until tomorrow morning. It feels empty inside me sometimes. Those of ya'll who've read my posts and follow me since the beginning would know that I am somewhat of a heart patient. So, every day feels like I'm living in overtime. I used to think that a time will come when I could go a whole day without thinking about this. And I'm still waiting to see when that time comes. To all my loved ones, I do love all of ya'll. Hugsy, Blossoms, Hyuna, and Goldy. You guys have become a huge part of my life which honestly, I never really expected. I guess it's true when people say that life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. I still can't get over the fact that when push comes to shove, I can call on these people without no one giving it a second thought and just doing whatever they can to help me. I mean, I am used to dealing with shit by myself. And it's not that I'm too prideful (2k16 reference) to accept aid, I'm just pretty damn good at dealing with shit by myself. I do feel a little iffy about accepting help but not enough to cloud my judgement. And I'll probably always remember Hugsy for taking my side despite hearing probably the worst stuff about me. If you're reading this buddy, thanks. I know I would've dealt with it by myself and that you didn't have to stand up for me but it genuinely means the world to me. These people have made me feel accepted. I know I'm weird and I like it but ya'll still took me in. I'm not much for sappy shit (blatant lie) but it's been fun knowing ya'll. And if I switch off tomorrow (metaphorically. It's not like I feel sick or anything. Just preparation.), I want to have an open casket funeral with a fountain of sprite and crude, lame jokes inscribed on my coffin. And then, I wanna be buried at...... hmmm lemme think. Oh, I got it. I wanna be buried in some undisclosed location. Probably the woods. I mean, can you imagine? Being surrounded by wood for eternity? Every gay guy's dream. Yeah, that's what you guys gotta do. Oh, and my cubes, I want them to be given to young kids who want to learn how to solve them. All of them, except two. The MoYu Weilong WRM MagLev 3x3. You know, the one with purple plastic on the inside. I want that one to go to my niece. And the RS3M 2021, 3x3, the one with the black plastic and stickers. It's magnetic and well that's it. I want that one to be left behind for my nephew. I know it all sounds crazy in hindsight because tomorrow, I will wake up again. But, who can truly know What Happens Next. Yeah, it's in italics because I wrote a short story and posted it on Wattpad with that as the title. Anyway, I think it's about time I head out into the dream world and see what adventures await me. Hopefully, no teachers show up this time...

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