Slay girl... I guess. I don't get teenage slangs.

 This one is about the one that was a right place wrong time kinda gal. And, I'm not just including her here now because she told me recently that she read the blog. No, this is because it made me realize that if I can write a blog about some random girl who I was kinda interested in, then this lady here would be a novel. So, let's name her Happy Feet. Context is only for me and her. With her, it isn't a game of longevity, rather a game of intensity. What we had was flawed from the ground up. And the timings were way off. Neither or us was grown up enough mentally to be someone's lover. But it was quite poetic, now that I think about it. It was all online and in the pandemic era. We couldn't meet even if we wanted to yet we wouldn't let that stop us from being together. Perhaps that distance was the key factor there. If we could've got our hands on each other during that time, we might've barely made it out as a couple. If we survived in that state of the relationship long enough to gain the maturity needed, we could've been great together. But that's all in the past. I've moved on, so has she. And I wish her luck in her newly acquired life in a new city. 

It's funny, I wished her on her birthday and she didn't recognize my number, (context - we aren't exactly on good terms, i.e. I'm usually blocked) and she called back and stuff. I ignored it because my thing was done. I wanted to wish her and I did. But it doesn't end there, she called me one night randomly and we talked for a while. It went about as well as it could've gone and it felt like the hatchet was about 4 of the feet in already. And she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to be friends or not, and I said that it's her decision and I'm down for whatever she chooses. As for what I want, well I ain't posting it here because ITS YOUR CHOICE. 

Sometimes it feels as if it all could've been so much better and greater in itself if the timing was right. But that is not something to dwell on and it's just the hand I've been dealt. All I can say now is that I regret the way it went down between us way back when. And looking back (don't get too cocky now), it was pretty difficult to get her out of my head. Like much more than I could've ever imagined, and I'd said the L-word to her already. SO that's saying something. But perhaps its better this way, she learnt a valuable life lesson and I didn't end up destroying her life. WHAT? I'm not being self-deprecating. I just know I wasn't mature enough to deal with the problems then. And its okay to acknowledge your shortcomings.

I do worry for her sometimes, out of nowhere. The place where she is now, that city is shiny and attractive. The night life is very popular here, sure. But it is just as, if not more, dangerous in its own right. And I worry about her being alone out there, in a new environment, with new people, experiencing things she's never done before, away from parents or anyone to look after her. It worries me but it simply isn't my place. I hope she can handle herself so that she doesn't get in trouble. Though, it goes without saying, if you're ever in trouble, you call me. You understand? I don't want you overthinking about which friend to call or whatever. No body else, I don't trust any of your friends there. I can help you in an emergency better than all of them combined. So keep this in mind. If shit hits the fan, you call me. And I'll be there.