Reminiscing on regrets of the past, its a different life.

 To sit in school and think of you, wishing you were here,

Classes just don't have the same appeal anymore to me,

To sit here worrying about the future, it feels strange,

With you as my past, feels like my future won't ever be complete.

I am a stranger to you, not even a fly on the wall,

I don't exist, I don't exist in your world at all.

I can never enter or be in your mind,

I could try, but you will never answer my call.

I've lied, I've hurt, I caused a lot of pain,

I struggle for most part to just stay sane.

I made you suffer or atleast I think I did,

I regret it every time I go down memory lane.

Has my life been rough these past years, I don't know

But you have a fun and joyful time wherever you go

Then how am I the better person here,

Despite having sunk so low a few years ago.

I lie awake at night, thinking of what I have

Planning for the future and reminiscing what I had

Patience is my virtue, I am calm enough,

I wish I could help you, replace all the bad.

Fate can be cruel, but hope carves the way,

Things change, people leave, or maybe they stay,

But some people don't change at all, and get worse,

That is why I perhaps got better while you stayed the same

I like attention from people I cherish, minds I admire,

You like attention from thieves, cheats and liars.

Maybe you didn't have a stable friendship after me,

No one to really steer your life right, ignite a fire.

God knows, I was a bad influence, a bad friend.

The scars remain on your life, they will till the end.

You can deny it all you want, pretend it didn't happen,

But it is stronger than either of us can comprehend.

My rescue missions seem to be my one purpose,

I have apparently lot of fucks in surplus,

Maybe healing you could be my redemption,

So I'll traverse the terrain of your life once more if I must.

But all that is done, it is in the past, it's gone

The life before my present is what I mourn,

The friendship we had is all but a myth bygone,

You moved on to bigger things, while I chose to be my own.