The Search Within

 I may have a purpose or two on this earth

To live, love and prosper, I first need to prove my worth

Would it even make a difference in the end?

For there are things stronger than even I can comprehend


It could be my own doing, where I got to now

In this state of mental suffering, falling further down

Grasping at straws of my conscience with all my might

It still feels like I very well may be fighting a losing fight


To love, to live, to pray, and to play

I force myself, to stop the rapid decay

My time is coming, I feel it in my bones

It sounds like crazy talk, yeah I know


Can I cover my eyes and make it go away?

I feel like a prisoner in my mind when I say

I'm covering my ears like a kid, when your words don't make sense

When life starts to disintegrate, I feel like I'm fading away


With love in my heart and hate thrown at my skin

I march into the cave, trying to find it within

I struggle with walking, my knees feel weak

I need some strength, I need strength to even breath


I stumble in the cove, starving for food

Living with demons, I didn't know I could

Didn't know if I'd survive the test of time

Borrowed so much of it already, didn't know if I would


Didn't know if I've find what I'm looking for, I still wander

Is it all pointless, silently in my head, I ponder

I've tried my best, or have i, I wonder

I look at the lightning, as I wait for the thunder


I accept that I can't escape the cave how much I try

It continues to fill up with my shouts of plea and cries

For someone to come save me from myself and lift me

To help me be better, be wiser, kinder, nicer and free


As I wander deeper, in search of the mythical waterfall

I talk to myself about giving up and letting go of it all

I understand the consequences of it would be dire

But it may bring back the flame within, ignite the fire


In the end, this search for purpose in our mind

Is the point of life, you are what you find

You define yourself with the signs of who you were

For me, I hope it was a soul that was pure, sweet and kind.

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