The Other 3 Magical Words

Psychology, Philosophy, and Morality

Well, people have told me that they can't seem to figure me out. Or that they don't understand how my brain works, and what in the fuck do I think I'm doing... So here's a chain of thoughts I had over the course of approximately an hour. Buckle up fellas, it's about to be a long read.

06:17 am

I sat there sipping my tea, cigarette in my hand, and thinking about how studying psychology has altered my perspective in life and that I look at the same things differently than I did before. Watching Brooklyn 99, I used to think Jake is funny, but now I felt like if that is an actual behaviour of a person, perhaps they need a therapist. Then I snapped back to reality and started looking around, noticing the morning sparse crowd go on about their morning rituals. Daily struggles of strangers. some seem like they've got their life on track, others seem to need a bit more time before they get there. I realised the next moment how I am noticing things more and more now that I paused the audiobook and took my headphones off. I saw dogs walking on the road and couldn't help but draw a parallel between the men sitting in front of me and the canine cuties on the sidewalk. I thought how the dogs have blinders on that they have the simplicity of cognition. They aren't running amok among the busy streets trying to justify their existence that perhaps is quite meaningless or maybe is the most significant life of all. They have simple priorities, they have their priorities straight, which more than I could say about 75% of humans today, myself included. I heard the mental commentary on this in my head, saying all these things about blinders and about how humans have so much struggle and only in moments of emotional aggravation, can they emulate the directness of the worm. That is when I made the mental note to write this blog, figured I better put pen to paper, or more appropriately, fingers to the keyboard. Around this time, I lost my train of thought, and my mind wandered towards breakfast. I remembered the smell coming off of this little shop of delicious spices and made a mental note to go there for breakfast after this tea. Hopefully, the food would be ready by then. I tried to think of something else to make the next point on the notes app and figured I'm forcing it and it is better if it's an organic flow. I saw a guy walk past the shop on the road, wonder what he was listening to. He had a backpack, a sling bag, hoodie on, earphones in. He looked artistic, so maybe he was listening to a metal rock band or maybe some underrated artist. Or maybe he was listening to an audiobook, just as I was before I paused it to take note of my thoughts. I saw two men enter the store where I was. One lit a cigarette while the other merely sipped on tea and they walked into the backroom, out of my sight. I figured he either didn't smoke or was to chicken to smoke outside in the open like me and his friend. He had a clean shave and a subtle deer-in-the-headlights look about him. But as they came out, he lit one and they paid and walked away, the doe smoking on the roadside, which is pretty much illegal here. Even I don't have the balls to do that. People from different walks of life passing by, some disheveled, some immaculately put together. As I walked from the store, I saw two old men waving to their compadres as they parted ways, and I wondered if the requirements of friendships change as we grow old. Now we need to text every day, be there for each other, and fulfill expectations. While these 4 men probably only met in the mornings on walks and then forgot they even exist throughout the day as they get on with their lives. These few moments of interaction with no strings attached gave them the semblance of friendship that they perhaps had earlier in their lives with others and lost them, whether due to petty squabbles or to death. Perhaps, this was enough for them in terms of having friends. I realised how I am too caught up in my own world when I listen to my audiobooks and never would've noticed these things if I wasn't cataloging my thoughts right now. 

I passed by the store with the delicious smell, the smell was still there but the food wasn't ready. I didn't have to go in and ask, I could tell. I saw a dead rat on the roadside. It was huge, maybe it was a hamster, though hamsters as pets here are quite rare. I've never met anyone who has a pet hamster. The poor thing was hard as a shell, on its side, sort of curled up into a ball and it reminded me of when we humans are shook too hard, emotionally. How some of us curl up into a ball on the floor. I saw two men of different socio-economic status, one shabby old man, and one hoodie adorned young well to do man walking side by side and wondered whether they are friends and usually hang out together, because that would be cool, or whether they are simply brought together right now by a common agenda. My thoughts were broken when a man ran past me towards the bus stop because he saw a bus approaching and if he didn't rush, he'd miss it. In the act of sprinting, his scarf came off and fell next to me. I called out but he didn't hear me and kept moving forward. Next thing I know, I'm running towards the bus stop too. The bus is about to drive off but I suppose the driver saw me approach in the side mirror and stopped, I gave the man his scarf and wondered if it made any difference in his life, or in my life, or in the reality of existence. Or perhaps it changed nothing and meant nothing and would never mean anything. I believe in Joe Hendry. He is a professional wrestler with a catchy theme song. It's called I Believe In Joe Hendry. Check it out and I promise, you will NOT be disappointed. The song has been trending worldwide. It's a chart topper in Scotland and always in the top 50 around the world for the last 6-8 months. And trust me when I say wait for the guitar riff. The guy played it himself.

https://youtu.be/Hb17uaaldwM?si=JvenBJO9Z9C1cuGF

https://youtu.be/4_HBE6CiFyI?si=mff7OMfIbmrS4kj7

Watch these and let this earworm haunt your ears for days if not weeks. If I'm gonna suffer, so will you all!!!!!!!!!! Also, this is copyrights of Joe Hendry and WWE respectively. No intention of infringement!

I decided to walk back towards the store to get my breakfast as my alarm for 6:45am went off. I figured this is where I'll give a shoutout to my pals Hugsy, Blossoms and Hyuna. You guys look at me and think of that meme "Do you ever look and someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" and well, here's the answer. Walking back, I saw three men on a bike, holding some kind of lumber equipment. One was holding a block of wood, while another was holding a saw blade. The hilarious part of it all was, only one of them was wearing the helmet, and it was the middleman. I wondered if there's a deeper meaning that I can attach to this but then I switched to thinking about my mother. How I gotta decide what I'm getting myself for my birthday, she offered to pay. Somehow the next thought in my head was of this girl I went to high school with. I remember about a year or so ago hearing that she got married, which is pretty young... And I remember looking her up as I went down memory lane a few days ago. I saw her face on her new fitness channel and thought to myself, "Who in the hell is this woman?" She looks absolutely different now and I wonder if she got a plastic surgery. I know it seems somewhat ridiculous but trust me, it seems plausible right now. I look up to my right and see a bicycle on a balcony. I feel bad for the bike, it had hoped to see sunshine and feel the wind through it's chassis, instead of sunbathing constantly until dusk everyday. It struck me now how I give too many fucks into finding meaning in tiny little things. For all I knew, that bicycle being in the balcony was as meaningless as single-ply toilet paper. As I sat in the store waiting for the food that still wasn't ready, I realised something, looking at the road. A garbage truck, and a tour bus, both have the same wheels. One collects trash in the form of human refuse, as in things that humans refuse to keep in their house in an attempt to clean their surroundings and the other collects human capital that couldn't sit still and just had to see the world, go on trips and make every second count. I wondered if there's a connection between the two but figured its bad to judge an empty tour bus as a trash collector. I should atleast wait till there's some passengers nearby. 

I came to the conclusion that I was perhaps trying harder to find meaning in these things because I wanted to write a blog about it. I felt myself falling prey to consumerism and made a point to relax my shoulders and not try so hard to think. Take a deep breath and chill, I am a writer. It will come to me organically. In the words of a fictional character, writing is about hearing the beating heart. And when we hear it, it is our job to decipher it to the best of our abilities. I saw 2 girls on bikes, pedaling past and remembered my own childhood, when I would be biking with my best friend. I once went with her to the mechanic shop because the mechanic apparently would hit on her if she went alone. I now realise it was highly concerning because we were in the fourth grade. Creepy dude, I tell ya. The aroma wafted up to my nose and I felt my stomach rumble. I noticed a woman standing outside this shop, waiting perhaps for a bus or a friend, I suppose, and I stared for a while, curiosity of what she was doing getting the better of me. The next moment I noticed a kid walking past, also staring at her, though I suspect his intentions of looking were a bit archaic. A group of middle aged men came inside the store and I sensed that they are regulars here when I heard their banter with the lady behind the counter. I didn't understand a word they said though, language barrier. They sat right next to me, to a person looking from afar, I might be perceived as a part of their group too. And they seemed pretty interesting. They looked pretty average and normal, but I suspect the topic of their chat was something intellectual. Everyone has moments in life where they talk about some super cool shit and I wish I could be a part of each of those conversations. I considered putting my headphones on at this point but realised that I wouldn't be able to hear the lady call for me when the food was ready. The men called over another friend, and two of them got up to grab the cups of tea from the counter. Next thing I see is 3 of them sitting, 2 standing and 1 empty chair. There was another empty chair a few feet away but these two men didn't sit in that one chair. A sort of unspoken agreement that since there's only one chair here, we don't mind standing for the duration of a few minutes. A tiny but kinda beautiful detail, I think. It is pretty beautiful and heartwarming to see these kind of simple acts that no one cares to notice, and yet somehow they leave at impact, a nonverbal gentlemen's agreement. True gentlemen, I'd say, these men were. 

I thought whether being in control of your thoughts is a good thing or a bad thing. I was in control of my thoughts, which meant I had THE POWER or whatever, but it also means that the process of assessing my thoughts and jotting them down was also tainted and being manipulated. For those with power can't help but alter the thing that they have power over and try to mold it into a shape they desire. This could perhaps be especially harmful when they don't even know what they want to shape it to. Because, purposefully or aimlessly, they will alter the thing that they hold power over irregardless. I wondered which is better, auditory thinking or visual. See my mind thinks visually, and even though it seems impossible, I have trouble translating my thoughts into text. Maybe an auditory style where there's a voice in my head would work better for me. I do prefer audiobooks over paperbacks. The men paid for their tea and left as new men came in and sat in their spots. Recycling human capital to produce turnover, that is what consumerism is at it's skeletal level, I suppose. The man next to me, he had a pop-it on his keychain. Those fidget toys that are super popular and stuff? They're basically just silicon molds, nothing else. But seeing a small cute keychain of it made me wonder if his daughter made him put it there or if he did it for her of his own accord. At this point, I was getting bored of my own thoughts, so I decided to put my headphones on and play the audiobook, only to realise I'm still waiting for breakfast. Don't worry, I didn't have to wait much, like maybe 10 minutes at most. And even that was because I was early. I wondered in my head if I would remembered all this when I came home and started writing it. I made a bullet points on my notes app, about 42 in total. And none of them had more than 8-9 words. I wondered if I would remember in what context I wrote them and whether or not I'll be able to talk about it when I put my fingers on this keyboard. Staying up all night is a really good way to feel sleepy in the morning I thought now. I yawned and saw a guy riding his bike past us also yawn. I know yawns are contagious, but you gotta be looking or hearing the other person for it to take affect. I chalked it up to coincidence and came back into my head. I figured it sure would be a great way to wake up if I caught a sharp punch to the face right then and there. But I suspect I thought that because I was listening to the audiobook version of Fight Club, by Chuck Palahniuk. And it was at that moment that breakfast was served. 

07:09am

Well, this was what I thought for an hour or so today morning. These thoughts sounded so revelatory but as I look back, I don't know. I'll let you guys decide. Because in the end, the original 3 magical words are I Love You while I propose the second trio of magical words to be Psychology, Philosophy and Morality. In my theory of, let's see what shall I name this. Fuck it, I'll call it my theory of Being. In my Theory of Being, Psychology talks about perspective and it refers to what you see in the world and how you see it. Philosophy talks about what you think of the things you see, what thoughts and opinions you form or refer to when you see what you see. And Morality is what controls the actions that you indulge in after you are done with the looking and thinking parts. Perception, Cognition and Function (verb). So from now on, when I go on my rescue missions, I have a self-made theory to annoy them with. Who's singing the national anthem???