Why was I so confused? It's all so easy.

I had a pretty weird dream last night. It was quite confusing but seemed like something I could do. I do not remember much of it but it went something like this. I am on a train to reach a city called Rapid City and there's a nationwide school chain in the country called DPS, and I went there for 10 years. So, I arrive at the city and make my way towards the school for some reason and before you know it, I'm standing in front of the main gate. Now, the catch is, Rapid City isn't my hometown, and I didn't attend this branch of DPS. But, here goes nothing and I went inside. I talked to some administrative staff and informed them of me being an alumnus and that I needed some school attested documents for applying in some master's degree or something. One thing led to another and I'm smoking pot in front of them and they're in awe because they've never seen a bong so big. And during all this, a teacher from my current, real life college shows up there. Let&#

 How alone are we all? Many of us think that loneliness is a sickness. Something pitiful, and something far away from them to truly seem comprehensible. But, perhaps the reality is harsher than we'd expect. So, as I sat at my laptop in the middle of the night with tears in my eyes, I couldn't stop myself from thinking of years ago. The Dark Ages of my life, the era that shaped my life and firmly decided my fate to eventually end up down under. While in this colossal image I can see my past with excruciating detail, with all the mishaps highlighted, I wonder what my purpose could've been, am I even aware of it? Or is it something completely alien. I respect individualism and free will, but it can not be extensively endorsed as the universal truth. What if we don't have a choice? What if all our actions have already been preset and assigned to us? We are slaves of patterns, it wouldn't be far-fetched to assume that it is all planned out. Humans are, as most of us know

 Another day, another shit. As we go into this late night of adventures, a.k.a. computer games, I need to get something off my chest. Shit, I forgot what I wanted to say. Right, here it is. I am not a nice guy. I've hurt people, I've caused harm, I've injured some. And, it pains me that I did. I can forget certain memories on command and it does take a toll on me. But I suppose, my comeuppance for all these sins is that I shall remember them till the day I die... Update, I'm no more at my house and it's almost 4:40am. As I was saying, I'm not a nice guy. I never was, nor will I ever will be. Because, frankly it's impossible. No one's a nice person of their own accord. Because 'nice' doesn't fill stomachs, 'nice' doesn't fill pockets. As long as there are assholes near me, I must be a nice guy because if not me, then who? Getting back to the topic, it's been a while since I've written something. I used to love writing but n

 Well, I will probably regret this but I'm posting the blog link on my REAL IG account. Not gonna lie, it'll just make it easier for me to find this blog again. But it could also ruin a lot of my relationships. I'm not who I used to be, but some people in my IG are just idiots. So, Hi, potential idiot, hope you read this post first and understand that I don't wanna stir shit up. I don't mean trouble and if you ask me in person about this, I might just deny it all being true. As for the ones who I KNOW will read this and are not idiots, just don't let this change the way you look at me. I know some bitch tried to change that view recently but this is a little bit more darker and offensive than that. And if it bothers you, just talk to me and here's to hoping Goldy doesn't read it... I'll explain it to you in person why I kinda don't want you to read, Goldy. Anyways, it's almost 6am, time for my walk. Last time I went for a walk after doing a b

 Well, here we go again trying to revive the blog and keep it active........ at 4;09am. If only I was this smart when it came to... well a lot of things. You know you dumb when you can't even joke about it. Well, either way, let's try it again. I got my laptop fixed since we met last year and I had a few ups and downs. Dated a few, nothing serious and parted on good terms. But the problem arises again. My god I'm getting older. I just had to read my old blogs to see how the story progresses. But yeah, Jenny is back on my mind again. Not sure if it's just a crush or something more, or even just nostalgia. I do miss her friendship quite a bit. I've never called anyone my best friend since her, so obviously she's the absolute cream of the crop. But what is the situation now? It's a different time and we're both no more the kids playing in our front yards. Hello there, my 69 fans (yeah, i just checked, funnily enough there's exactly 69 views on my last p