Why was I so confused? It's all so easy.

I understand the inner workings of society to some extent, I would say. I have transcended the paramount metrics of existence. The scales we use to judge every action and by extension every human. The eternal debate between two sides of the same coin, destined to forever be together yet doomed to never have any overlapping views. The Right v. The Wrong. We have achieved almost everything that we need for sustenance. Now it's just a quest for purpose, rather than survival. We created society, civilization, laws, government and all the crap to simply pass time. And we created the parameters for what is to be considered right and what is deemed wrong. Simply put, right is whatever is socially acceptable, no matter how barbaric, apartheidic, toxic, degrading, misogynistic, misandrous, or corrupt it may be. If the majority accepts it, it is RIGHT. I, however, don't care much for the segregation of facts into these two piles. No, I don't go around publicly defame the law and the

 As I grow older, dreams have begun haunting me again. I thought that that phase of my life was far gone but history has an uncanny habit of plagiarism. The dreams however, differ on a molecular level from the ones from the 'Dark Ages'. They used to be disturbing, scary, horrific, giri, sadistic and masochistic. The second coming has brought forth more desire driven dreams in this disoriented daze that we call sleep. It is ironic how these dreams keep me up. So many hours of the night have I wasted pondering over these delirious delusions. But perhaps that is my purpose, my sense of existence to finally be of some use to the society.  But then why am I reluctant to accept my destiny? What is it that makes a person play make belief even after they're an adult? I can't have my purpose be to lose sleep over hallucinations. I am not gonna go down as a nobody. I'm gonna leave my mark on the whole bloody world. When I grow up, j am gonna make sure people think twice befor

 Sometimes it just seems everybody only wants to patronize me. But it's just me, I'm just being me. But it feels like the world has a vendetta against me. Well, bring it on with all you got. Because after all the ones before you who tried, to quote Elton John, I'm still standing. And stronger than ever. So if you succeed, Godspeed. But you better make sure to finish the job if you shoot your shot. Because I won't exact vengeance but rather my mere existence would be a curse upon you. This isn't arrogance, simply the faith I've put in myself because it doesn't seem like people are lining up really to put their faith in me. I try to be a good person whenever I can. I try to do right by people whenever I can. But as of late, it feels like I'm doing something wrong. There is something fundamentally wrong with my way of thinking that's stopping me from achieving happiness. Perhaps it might be time for a heel turn. I do not know how I feel about it. It'

 Well, the last time we met, I met this cute girl and life was looking pretty good. But since then, things have ended between us. No, this isn't an Taylor Swift style post, I'm not going to bash her. Not here, not anywhere else either. But I can't help feeling hurt. It seemed like a long shot, yes and I did willingly bear the risks but it didn't work out not for the reasons that I was bracing myself for. It felt like I am not worth fighting for. It felt like I am not worth the efforts that one must put into any relationship to make it work. Because, while I was fighting for us, something that merely felt like a whisper of reality, she was busy fighting for herself. Maybe that is the way we are all wired internally. I choose not to believe it, but as I get older, I keep finding evidence of people just being cynical. And once enough people start to be cynical, it doesn't matter if the basis of that cynicism is a sham. It will be the new religion. Shaky basis with such

 Truly, it seems that the world is out to get me. Maybe I'm imagining the signs, maybe I'm hallucinating too much. But maybe, my days are numbered. Things have been happening lately that make me worried and concerned. Today, I dodged and barely avoided a road accident. I was driving my bike casually, like I always do and out of nowhere a truck cut in front of me and took the biker right in front of me with it. If I didn't brake on time and turn to the left, I would've been trampled. The truck driver evidently was trying to avoid hitting a dog, but there was no dog on the road...Creepy.  There was another incident recently too. I am not sure but I believe I was about to be mugged. I went out for a walk at night and was smoking a cigarette as a man pulled up and started asking for directions. This soon turned into him asking my qualifications? Of course, all I told him were lies. Anyways, he then out of nowhere grabbed my hand and I panicked. I pulled him to the side and