Why was I so confused? It's all so easy.

I was thinking that I want a sparring match with Hugsy. He's one of my close friends and I know that he can bring a decent fight. Plus he won't be butthurt about any bruises I might end up inflicting. And no offense to Blossoms, he's resourceful but I don't think he'd fare well in combat. Plus, it's been a while since I had a sparring match, too long if you ask me. The last match I had was, I think it was in 2016. Me and this kid whose name I forget gave me the beating of my life. The most beautiful smackdown that I cherish and endear more than I realized then. He was a no bullshit, straight shooter. He was a southpaw too, so that caught me completely off-guard. My god, what a divine fight that was. The sweetest bloody nose I've ever had, truly. Ah, I miss the rush. I miss the thrill. I miss the adrenaline that surges through every single vein in your body. I won that match but the scars still remain, and I mean actual physical scars on my knuckles. Whenever

 Just saw my blog stats for the first time, because I found out a few seconds ago how to access them and I am truly amazed by this. I don't broadcast this blog. I don't go flaunting or bragging. Despite that, just this month, over 40 people have visited my blog. And if that wasn't enough, 90+ have visited my blog in the last month alone. I wasn't looking for this, but I sure am excited to see it. Thank you, to whomever reads this. Really, it's so cool to me that people are actually interested and keep coming back to my blog. What started as a pseudo-attempt at a deep dark web visit is now a halfway decent blog. Fun, I suppose. Well, here's to hoping it doesn't blow up. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!!!!!!

Well, I guess the moment of truth is, one way or another, coming soon. Talked to Amy about the Jenny stuff last night. Had a great chat about it and she volunteered to talk to Jenny for me. No, she won't tell her that I sent her but she will tell Jenny that she talked to me and we'll see what she says, I don't know how I feel about it. I don't generally prefer to involve others in my business and I don't know how I feel about letting Amy talk to her on my behalf. But whether Jenny agrees to talk to me or not, this chapter is coming to an end. I realize that what I wanted from her was some effort, in any form really. Even if it is just to scream "fuck off" at Amy. I suppose the mere acknowledgement from her that I exist could help me get closure. I guess the thing that's been bugging me the most is that she will always be a part of my life, I can never pretend she's a stranger. But, it feels like for her I am a stranger already. So, maybe some ackno

 Well, here we are again. Early morning with random thoughts in your head. Is it just me or is this happening with everybody? I don't mean like at the same time but this is happen with everyone? I don't know, man. Sometimes I'm just unable to sleep. For whatever reason it may be, I just can't seem to find my way around this one slight dilemma... You guys remember Jenny by any chance? It's okay if you don't, I mean she is only the girl that my entire blog basically sparked because of. Anyways, I don't know how to deal with the problem. She, SHE is the problem. She keeps popping up in my head. Random things end up reminding me of her. Maybe I see someone who looks a bit like her, or talks a bit like her. Or laughs a bit like her. And it's basically atleast once or twice a day.  Now, in this world, I have never faced a problem that stumped me so. Because the key plot twist here is, I KNOW what has to be done to fix this. But that seems downright impossible.

 Do you ever wonder if that one person, just that one specific person from your past would ever come back in your life? Or how you'd react if they did? Or how would they react? Would they be pissed at you or would they just run up into your arms? We all know who I'm talking about. The First Crush. Everybody has one, but never get them to themselves. Only 18% of the people on the face of the earth know how it feels to have their crush like them back. Real statistic, look it up. The rest of us just take it as a lesson and try to learn from it. And then, one day out of the blue, that person comes back in your life and disrupts all that you've built ever since you lost them and moved on. You're SURE you don't have feelings for them anymore but you can't help it that you're attracted towards them again and it feels different but familiar. Weird, but powerful. You start to wonder again, your mind boggles at the possibilities that just opened up. Are you really att