Why was I so confused? It's all so easy.

For rehearsals of the future, we skip the past, Only to run back into it, united at last, Your dreams can't make up for the pain you caused, Witness the power of hopes that you lost. The fields of roses are covered in ash, You walk among the shadows, the macabre The sunlight is gone, and in a sudden flash, You see the demon engulf the self that you are. The charred remains of your present days, Casting a shadow of horror, an eclipse like phase Carving your soul in so many ways, They call you the ghost rider, as they dig your grave. And soon you see a blinding light, You clutch at your eyes, begging for sight. You see all the hate is just love in disguise, For men like you, a delusion may still suffice. Men like you stand at the door for a price, Guarding the filth and garbage of another's mind Reaching for glory, thinking up a scheme, Terrorizing everyone you see with your grand regime Your fate is sealed, it's etched in the sky Your soul is doomed for all the good you defi

 Admiring you becomes a distant daze, To get you, I ran through the maze Would we ever be together in this life? I don't know, I'm still a bastard, and you didn't change your ways. But maybe that's only so because you're so far Maybe it works out when we become who we are Maybe you make me a better man and I illuminate your life Maybe one day we get together, I pray to a shooting star The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, Revive my my faith in love, give it a fresh start Because you're the reason for the beats of my heart The one I see when I close my eyes, you are I am worried I might never find you, I confess Lately I've been down, I've been dealing with stress Been waiting for quite a while, I tell you For someone like you to get me out of this mess I've been reminiscing, thinking all these thoughts About the way I used to live back when I had you in my life The horrible things, the evil voices, the demons that I fought, My existence bec

 There have been many ads throughout years and eras that have left a mark in all our minds. These ads are usually unique and they are often funny or emotional and cater to the strings of our hearts as consumers and as human beings. The first one that always pops up in my mind when talking about memorable ads is Ambuja Cement ad. It is a cinematic ad and a pioneer for the trend of revealing the product in the end. The plot went something along these lines. Two brothers who have been quarreling for over a decade are at odds still, separated by a wall. They don't let their wives talk to each other and refuse to make up for as long as they can remember. One day however, in a dramatic turn of events the brothers feel a surge of love and regret for lost time and they both converge in the adjacent gardens of their houses and scream at each other that they are tired of this wall dividing them for years and they then proceed to try everything they can to break it. From hitting with a car, t

 Ever heard about jingles? Those little snippets, those wannabe songs that play alongside some advertisements? Yeah, those. Those are pretty cool, aren't they? Well, turns out there's a highly scientific reason for their existence in the ad industry and not just to be a creative and innovative approach to marketing. I think it is safe to say that everyone born up till early 2000s remembers the lifebuoy jingle. "Tandurusti ki raksha karta hai Lifebuoy. Lifebuoy hai jahan, tundurusti hai vahan. LIFEBUOY!" And there's more reasons for it than just being catchy. However, being catchy is one of the significant aspects of marketing psychology. The reasons for the inception of jingles was due to the need for a change in times, change in the old way of advertising where it was all product centered and information heavy. While being informative, these ads didn't leave a significant enough mark on the psyche of the audience for it to be as effective as the companies nee

 As a kid, living in a middle class household in the 2000s, television was a huge part of my life. The severity of the role of tv, especially in the passive sense hits me hard even today. In some random turn of events, I'll find myself humming an old jingle or quoting a tagline out of thin air. Though, of all of them, one advertisement stood out specifically to me as a kid. It was intermingled with overexposure and my mother constantly commenting on it whenever it came up on tv or even in general conversation. The ad in question is the ad for Pond's cream or another product ad. It had a jingle associated with it that went something along the lines of Boogie Woogie Wush while they pinch the cheeks of the baby. And I remember that ad in some corner of my memory still. More so because as a kid, my mother would remind me that when I was a toddler and I'd see this ad come up on tv and would rush to my mother to pinch her cheeks and say "boogie woogie wush". Now I am su

 I may have a purpose or two on this earth To live, love and prosper, I first need to prove my worth Would it even make a difference in the end? For there are things stronger than even I can comprehend It could be my own doing, where I got to now In this state of mental suffering, falling further down Grasping at straws of my conscience with all my might It still feels like I very well may be fighting a losing fight To love, to live, to pray, and to play I force myself, to stop the rapid decay My time is coming, I feel it in my bones It sounds like crazy talk, yeah I know Can I cover my eyes and make it go away? I feel like a prisoner in my mind when I say I'm covering my ears like a kid, when your words don't make sense When life starts to disintegrate, I feel like I'm fading away With love in my heart and hate thrown at my skin I march into the cave, trying to find it within I struggle with walking, my knees feel weak I need some strength, I need strength to even breath I

 Shot through the heart, and I'm to blame Whatever I do gives love a bad name. I try my best to be a good guy But everything I do can only cause pain Maybe I don't really try to do good in the world, But I'm causing more chaos, good deeds there are none It scares me so, to be in your arms, closing my eyes Because the may be filled with your screams and cries My voice can't be heard, I choose to trap it in But my mere existence can crumble your life from within To be with me in this plane of existence, You may have to destroy the world you now live in Feels as if I am the results of the equation balancing itself  That means there's enough good in the world, no need for more Making my efforts to put good in the world futile Turning me into the monstrous negative entity I so abhor. I am a harbinger of chaos, should I embrace Should I lean into that darkness, turn my face  Abandon the light, burn my morals beyond a trace And fuck the world, fall from God and into the de

Your repentance will come as it may, You have one minute to say what is to say, One minute to beg, barter, persuade and pray, Because today shall be your final day. Down on your knees dog, pay the proper respect, Acknowledge the Lord of Hell, for you failed the test, For all the sins committed, you will pay the price, Each punishment shall see you wail and cry. Mark my words boy, burn you shall, All the demons in the underworld I coral, Shall see your absolution to the Sisters of Time, You will live through every one of your crimes. Engulfed in flames you will see the light, You can't look away, try as you might, When fire turns to ashes, none of you is left, Gone with the wind, a secret forever kept. Your remains stare at me through the hot coals, It is simply my job to guide the disturbed souls, Burning to ash was your destiny, not my choice, I couldn't save you from the pain, couldn't raise my voice. It breaks away a piece of my heart every time I do this, You hadn't

The shy contrast in ambitions of the masquerading sleeper cells is something we don't generally talk about. It is a grave mistake on the part of the society, on us as citizens. Now, I suspect some of you are wondering what it even means, if I'm talking about terrorism. And I am, to a certain extent, referring to terrorism, but not on a national level or even state level, I'm talking about the personal levels of our lives where we never know who can hurt us simply because of a slight deviation from what society considers to be acceptable and what it doesn't. More often than not, it happens exactly how sleeper cells work. They are completely unaware of their capabilities and often cause these damages without intention. For example, calling someone out on their crap like, "that background noise is distracting" is a very simple statement and perhaps you can't even imagine how it could offend people. So think about it this way, you're talking to your friend

 The thought of the end scares people. It scares the ones who didn't see it coming from afar. It feels like a nightmare coming back to haunt you one last time. A final testament to stand as your legacy for when judgement day comes by. Lately, I've been feeling like my time is near, lurking nearby. You can never be prepared for it, they say. But, I don't know exactly what this feeling is, but I think I can sense that my end is near. It feels like a fever dream of some kind, some premonition of impending doom. Though, if I'm being honest, it doesn't like doom. Feels like tranquility, like the end of an era, satisfaction and a sense of fulfilment mixed in with regrets and guilt along with a few sprinkles of desires left unaddressed and dreams unactualized... The best way to describe it could be a feeling of completion in ineffectualness, a sense of achievement with a feeling of unkept promises, serendipity in the pandemonium. So, whether I'm right or wrong, only ti

 Hello, how've you been? You're done? What do you mean? But I need you, can't you see how much you mean to me? With the thought of you every morning I rise, I would go to whatever lengths just to see you smile. Oh please have some faith in yourself, trust me, I would keep you happy, if I could have you for a while. If hell froze over, that would be nice, For I could join you in heaven for the rest of time, But even if it doesn't, I'll still break out, To come back to you, because you are what my life is all about. If it comes, if it goes, my love you're hurt and it shows I would take care of you, keep you happy, keep you close, So let us hit the road, drive to a hilltop and lie on the grass, Stare at the moon while I stare at you, it's you who I'll always choose. So take my hoodie, don my shirts, Feeling this way, for me it's a first, I don't know what it is that you got, But no one does what you do, you are all I got. You see me for who I am and

 Reasons to give, reasons to love Reasons to care, to care for some, To bond and grow, to hell with what may come  So when you see the boogeyman, run run run You thought it's easy, you didn't expect, You didn't love the way one should, gave no respect Now you shall wander around as a reject Because what you sow in this world is what you get The bad you do stays with you, The good you do comes back to you, For most this doesn't make any sense, And one's who get it don't think it's true. They think the world is cruel, They make their hardships their fuel  With visors covering their world view, It seems darker to them, blurred by hue Remedies for restitution, for debts must be paid, Spreading butter on a toast, while spewing venomous hate, in the world as you hate it to be, it must be so hard, Then take yourself out of this world to make it a better place We need better people to spread joy, Not one's that would rather place a decoy  So many reasons to give

Max here was a great French leader of his time and played a huge role as the leader of the French Revolution. He spearheaded the operation and was the one to execute King Louis XIV, and brought about perhaps one of the greatest stories of freedom ever told. His ideology? People in power need to be held accountable for their actions. Great message wouldn't you say? I mean it was more difficult for the French to do that because it was a monarchy, rather than a government that claims to be to, of and for the people. So, it should supposedly not have to reach the point of beheading the head of the country to have them held accountable, right? So, it doesn't have to be so difficult to achieve a simple harmony between the people and the government. Robbie then went on to live the best time of his life. From fighting the rulers of the great nation for the rightful resources that the people deserve, and need to survive, to being the deputy of the National Assembly. Maximillian climbed

 Lately, the one problem that keeps holding me back from achieving my dream. The problem is I don't know what women want. I am bisexual for reference but I guess I was so exposed to the idea of a man and a woman creating a family that I am more inclined towards women. Trust me, gay men have no troubles communicating with their partners. It is simply much more effective. I have to say, I am losing faith... I don't have high expectations, I don't have unattainable standards, I don't understand where I am wrong. I'm sure it's somewhere but someone tell me where. I am not a possessive person, I keep my jealousy in check, I don't let my insecurities affect my partner's lifestyle choices. I am supportive, loving, caring, I do things before she would even think to ask. I am reliable, dependable, adaptable, and reasonable. What more am I supposed to give to achieve something that people are just stumbling upon, people who don't even deserve it... Through the

 When is it okay to give up? When can I let go of her and finally move on from this frustrating chapter of my life? This is the longest problem I've had, it's as old as I am. Afterall, in the end it is the one thing that still has the power over me to tie me down. She is the one who can still bring me back to when I was a rampant 15 year old with anger management and commitment issues. I've tried countless things to fix the problems between us. I've tried every way I could've come up with. And I've even tried the way she wants me to be, because what if I'm wrong , right? But nothing worked, and it is clear now, the problem is her. She is the cause of the issues and unfortunately, only she can fix this. I would much rather have the problems be with me completely because I know I can trust myself with it to fix it and be better next time. But her, she is my kryptonite. She's the one person that the dumb messiah could never help. And to make it worse, she i

 You know what's funny? I never expected this blog to gain so much popularity. Now, I know it isn't famous and stuff but still, I just thought it'll be lost in a dark corner of internet years ago. But now, we have over a thousand views. And I can't get over the fact that over a thousand people are actually curious to read the bullshit I spew. My most viewed posts include An Ode to Odile, What Could've Been. Now, I have a decent feeling who keeps rereading the Odile post. So, thank you, Odile. Sometimes, I wish you had a better eye for friends and people you keep close to yourself. The crowd you run with is what leads you down the path of pain every time. As of now, only Nancy is someone who's actually good for you. Everyone else you hang out with are just viruses. They'll corrupt your heart until there's nothing left to corrupt. But nuff about someone who would replace me with any other person who has a bike. The What Could've Been post is something

 The problem seems clear now, evidently. I need love to enrich me and lift me up. That's what it took last time I went down this rabbit hole. This time it seems easier but still quite a daunting task. The Cerberus is staring me down and I refuse to look away. The three-pronged guardian of peace stands in my way of becoming the harbinger of doom upon the savage land of the Judas in my mind. Gratitude, that is what I feel towards this beast. Doomed to guard the dark for eternity yet rears its ugly heads as a symbol of chaos to come. It isn't much but it provided me with enough to know where to begin and what to strive towards. I have been feeling recently as if I'm lacking purpose, reason. Maybe I have no purpose or maybe my purpose is to forever be in chase of what I WANT my purpose to be. And I refuse to believe that I was put here for no reason, just to twiddle my thumbs and pick my nose, metaphorically ofcourse.  Love liberated me, enchanted me, engulfed me and I succumbe

 To be drunk at 3 am, it feels like the world is against me. It feels as if I'm gonna die alone and I probably will. I called over a friend today, someone who I've hurt in the past. So, I completely deserve the wave of guilt I am feeling right now. But my problem is this, am I really that bad a guy? Do I not deserve love? Because ALL I want is to fall in love and have someone who loves me. But evidently, that's too much to ask. I have hurt people, including the lady in my bed right now. Don't worry bitch, I'm sleeping on the floor while she takes the bed. She's just a friend. But my concern is this, will I ever find love? Will I ever feel that magical feeling again? There was this one advice that always stuck with me. "How can you ever love anyone if you can't even love yourself?" and it stuck with me. I didn't love myself back then. And I don't love myself now. Does that mean I'm incapable of love? OR maybe this is repentance for all m

I understand the inner workings of society to some extent, I would say. I have transcended the paramount metrics of existence. The scales we use to judge every action and by extension every human. The eternal debate between two sides of the same coin, destined to forever be together yet doomed to never have any overlapping views. The Right v. The Wrong. We have achieved almost everything that we need for sustenance. Now it's just a quest for purpose, rather than survival. We created society, civilization, laws, government and all the crap to simply pass time. And we created the parameters for what is to be considered right and what is deemed wrong. Simply put, right is whatever is socially acceptable, no matter how barbaric, apartheidic, toxic, degrading, misogynistic, misandrous, or corrupt it may be. If the majority accepts it, it is RIGHT. I, however, don't care much for the segregation of facts into these two piles. No, I don't go around publicly defame the law and the

 As I grow older, dreams have begun haunting me again. I thought that that phase of my life was far gone but history has an uncanny habit of plagiarism. The dreams however, differ on a molecular level from the ones from the 'Dark Ages'. They used to be disturbing, scary, horrific, giri, sadistic and masochistic. The second coming has brought forth more desire driven dreams in this disoriented daze that we call sleep. It is ironic how these dreams keep me up. So many hours of the night have I wasted pondering over these delirious delusions. But perhaps that is my purpose, my sense of existence to finally be of some use to the society.  But then why am I reluctant to accept my destiny? What is it that makes a person play make belief even after they're an adult? I can't have my purpose be to lose sleep over hallucinations. I am not gonna go down as a nobody. I'm gonna leave my mark on the whole bloody world. When I grow up, j am gonna make sure people think twice befor