Why was I so confused? It's all so easy.

 Yes, I'm a messiah of the modern world. I save others, generally from simple problems but sometimes, might even have saved lives. And yes, I am dumb. Because of the people who I chose to invest my energy in. Make no mistake, I'm not a glutton for punishment. I stand by my choice of helping people. I'm not stupid, but sometimes I wish I was. And I'm not wrong to do these rescue missions but sometimes I wish I was. It is at times like this when I wish to find flaws in my ways so that I can morally justify it when I never do it again. And spoiler alert, "they're not worth it" is not a good enough reason. It could be that all their lives they were battered and bruised and no one thought they're worth it and now they're rude and prideful and no one thinks they're worth it. And more often than not, this ends up being the case. But sometimes, I come across someone who doesn't appreciate me interfering in their life, so I back off. But is it moral

 No one really knows what happens once we die, except Doug Forcett if you catch my drift. But just the fact that it's always looming on the horizon. The fact that it could be in ten minutes or 10 decades is perhaps what makes life so special. We humans take it so lightly, so cheap is human life that over 431,000 people are estimated to have died in the last year by the act of murder. And 134,000,000 people are supposedly born too. While the number of deaths may look insignificant by comparison, it still amazes me just how much we do not appreciate life. Just talking about the living humans, so many have suicidal tendencies. While I am not taking away from their pain, trauma and general sufferings they've had to endure, it truly hurts me to see them think so. These sweet souls have been hurt way beyond what they can handle and it feels almost unfair. Perhaps it is, and I hope that their suffering or the act of unaliving themselves would bring them at peace in the end somehow. Bu

 Weddings are a fun time of the year, probably the most chaotic season. But it accentuates the key to living a healthy life. It shows us that all we can do is embrace the pandemonium, find happiness in the unique insanity of being here, now. Quote by Eleanor Shellstrop.  So as I embark on this dramatic occasion with all cards laid out, it has a unique experience of it's own. My sister is no longer going to be single. I feel really happy for her. She won't have to face the family's taunts of how she's of age and should get married. And I'm truly grateful that she's going to a loving family and a caring husband awaits her. They gel well together and that's way more than anyone can ask for but she deserves every ounce of this beautiful elixir. But mingled with the joy, comes the tinge of separation. She's going off to the states, perhaps to live "The American Dream". And just knowing that she's going to be oceans apart is a melancholy feeling.

 Is it the differences that seperate us so? Or is it the personal beliefs that hinder our relationships? Is it because of the way we were brought up? Or is it because of our past experiences that divide us so unequivocally? Did some outsider pit us against each other or did we do it ourselves?  Many of us feel alone and lonely sometimes. We feel like there's no one we can talk to. I feel like that sometimes, right now being one of them. And it seems that if I was in an emergency, I wouldn't know who to call... If this was an emergency where I need to empty my heart and let it air out, I don't know who I would go to. Who would be willing to listen and help me the way I need them to? I have a few close friends. People who I would trust with my life. Then why does it feel so weird to trust them with this? What differences are these that separate us so? Why is it that we are so close yet when it comes to talking our hearts out, so far away? I know that for most part, I am to bl

Today's post is going to be a little educational but bear with me... Moral Desert. Howard Simmons was the one who propagated this concept. Simply speaking, Moral Desert says that good people should be rewarded. Seems reasonable and straightforward, right? Well, this is moral philosophy so OBVIOUSLY there's more. The idea is that we believe that we deserve to be praised for good behaviour while punished or blamed for bad behaviour. And this seems pretty central to the societal moral deliberation and practices. Like it is universally accepted that good people should be rewarded and bad people should be punished. But the practicality of the concept is slightly tainted... For example, I bet that more than 90% of the readers of just this blog don't always follow the basic rules of society. Like traffic lights. Say it's past midnight and you are driving home from somewhere. If you're a lame ass dork like me, you're driving home from your cousin's place. If you'

 Lately, for some reason, my feed on social media apps has been all about "woke, gender appropriation". And unfortunately, I can't stop it from affecting my thought process. It has been an all-out war between woke feminists and, well, old school thinkers. And this conflict is making me choose sides. I can't, in good conscience, support the modern feminism followers. I can't support the extremists of the LGBTQ community. I just can't. I am Bisexual, and I love being bi. I have been bi for over 5 years and yet I can not support these extremists who just spread hate with the leverage of being members of this community. Apparently there's people who want equal pay for both genders, while on a different front, advocating that there are infinite genders. But let's talk about that for a second. Equal pay for both, men and women, biologically, I mean. Let's look up the stats. Can an average biological woman lift heavy weights? If yes, then how heavy? Let&#

 Oh father, tell me Do we get what we deserve? Would God come save me? Or would wrath fall on me from above? Oh father tell me,  Does man act as he should? Would God be angry? Or would he help us any way he could? Would he be humble or arrogant? Would be listen to our stories? Would he know about the pain? The loss I've suffered, would he know this? Would a beam of light embrace us from heavens? Or would storms rain down upon us? Would he bestow the long overdue penance? Or would he still adore us? Will he be as human as we are? Or will he pay no mind? Would he care about all my crimes? Or will he remain blind? Would he be just in his court? Or would he be like man, selfish? Is being pure the goal he aims toward? Or would he not mind the blemish? Too many questions, too few answers, Too many doubters, too few believers, Would all our prayers be answered? Or would he throw away all procedure? I have no hopes from him now, I let go of my last reserve, But father, I still don't kn

 Heathens grow in the dark, Desperate for love, an aching heart, Biting your soul, leaving a mark, Praying on a shooting star, Among the faithful, walks a fraud, Just wants to be loved, Mindlessly screaming, challenging God, Asking for an audience, to be heard, Brandishing a long broadsword, Tired of suffering with the hurt, Doing what he does, without a thought, Ignored in a cruel, cruel world, With a cold heart and blood running hot, Left on the street at night to rot, Fighting, trigger happy, aiming a shot, By parents who were tragically distraught, Masquerading as a man of faith, Tried being someone better, with a false face, Hiding inside a decade old Wraith, yet he doesn't find his own place, Powered by hunger, pain and rage, T aking a stand, turning another page, He's come to destroy the modern age. He's come to create a new age.

 As I sat there on my laptop, staring at the screen for hours, I had the oddest sensation of emptiness. The words that had been my sword and shield for the last 25 years were somehow out of my grasp. It is true what they say, love can cause the most pain when you least expect it. I couldn't stop the tears falling out of my eyes. For the first time in 10 years I was alone. No one to go home to, there was no one to call my own now. But the words still wouldn't come out. I did not plan a memorial because frankly, I didn't wanna share my pain with anyone. But even if I did, who would even come. Flannery O'Connor once said that nothing needed to happen in a writer's life after the age of 20. By then, they'd experienced enough to last a creative lifetime. But then, why wouldn't the words come?

SW - Is this what made you summon,           me here, for this Brick in the Oven? LM - But I would ask you the same,           Is this Brick in the Oven a game? SW - I'm as stumped as you are,           lost my mind over this.          Who can tell us about the Brick?          Maybe she can, Excuse me, Miss? MM - Oh children, how can I help you?            Hmm, isn't it past your curfew?            Its late at night, you should go home,            Your parents must be worried, rush back home. LM - But Miss, what about the Brick?           Do we do nothing, just let it sit? MM - Oh dear, there's a Brick in the Oven.            Wait, which authority do I summon? MM - Yes 999, I have an emergency.           In this park, there's something to see.           There's a brick in the oven, it's plugged in.           But there's no one here, no person. 999 - That's a kind of bomb, please run           Run, and take along everyone. LM - Ah, it exploded. Thank God

 To be or not to be, 100 points to anyone who can tell me where this is from. But that, indeed, is the question. That is the question mankind asks itself. But not in the same context, as you might think. A man asks this to himself not as a dilemma of whether to live, but rather in the context of to be RICH or not to be. Simply put, the only way mankind actually asks ourselves THE single most important question is when they buy groceries, or other trivial situations. No one knows just how to live anymore. We are all just living by hit and trial and picking the one that kinda works. Everyone is afraid of change, no one wants to embrace it. People just want the most convenient application of their resources and put minimal efforts when it comes to any kind of problem. No one has that zest for life. We are alive but we aren't living. We aren't thriving, atleast not in the sense that matters. What I think is missing in this world is Love. Way too many non-believers in love. Way too

I'm sure it's not just me, but lately I've been lacking motivation in life. Not to be confused with motivation to live. I've just been feeling if it all is worth it. Whether this world, THIS world being the surroundings I'm in, whether I gain ANYTHING from it. I'm all for optimistic, glass half full guy, but maybe that half isn't enough. Maybe I need something more significant, more valuable, harder to achieve, more stimulating, more rewarding, just more, I suppose. And I don't know how to get that. So, come with me on this journey and let's see what I can do when push comes to shove. I gotta be honest, I'm not too confident about this go-getter attitude but let's see. Faith is funny like that...

 The answer is probably a lot. Think about it, I got drunk and what did I do? I wrote a blog...Well a post in the blog but you know what I mean. Right now, I'm sitting in my living room, with the blinds closed and smoking a cigarette while writing this, holding it in my mouth. Right now, I'm cool as Sub Zero, but really? Who gets drunk and writes???????? Ofcourse, all the great philosophers like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle. But you know the one thing they all have in common? All of them died poor, achieved nothing IN life and died alone. Damn, that's a hard pill to swallow. Luckily, I'm great at swallowing. But here's to making sure I never write another blog when I'm drunk. Ah who am I kidding? We'll be right back here the next time I get drunk alone. Anyways, I was thinking of writing this but wasn't sure until I saw how many people had already read the previous post since last night. So, here I am, pleasing the crowd by not doing anything. I am the win

 Is it complicated or do I complicate it? The eternal question man should ask himself. And it is the question this man is asking himself right now because it seems to me that my life is really complicated but could it just be simple and it is I that makes it complicated every single time? Well, I've been thinking about it a lot and turns out yeah, I do make it more complicated at every turn because I'm DUMB. Why do I do this? The answer is dumb, because I'm simple... Get it? Anyway, life gets blurry sometimes when you're as drunk as I am. Don't worry, I am of legal age in my state. As for my past life, it turns out that I have done a lot of things that have made my life extremely difficult and the worst of it all is that I don't regret most of those choices. Like what is wrong with me, am I right? Life was supposed to be simple. Hunt, eat, sleep and repeat. But no, man wanted more. Man wanted comfort, ease of access, glory, money, fame, power. Life is so simple

 Am I up all night today? Or is it all going up in smoke? I suppose I won't know until tomorrow morning. It feels empty inside me sometimes. Those of ya'll who've read my posts and follow me since the beginning would know that I am somewhat of a heart patient. So, every day feels like I'm living in overtime. I used to think that a time will come when I could go a whole day without thinking about this. And I'm still waiting to see when that time comes. To all my loved ones, I do love all of ya'll. Hugsy, Blossoms, Hyuna, and Goldy. You guys have become a huge part of my life which honestly, I never really expected. I guess it's true when people say that life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. I still can't get over the fact that when push comes to shove, I can call on these people without no one giving it a second thought and just doing whatever they can to help me. I mean, I am used to dealing with shit by myself. And

 Let me start off by saying that I don't wish to interfere in your life or disrupt your current relationship which I found out about just now. I just wonder sometimes what could've happened if you didn't have a deadline back then. I was a jerk of a boyfriend. Probably the worst one you've had, idk. And I know that I wanted it to be serious but I had to constantly pull away so that I don't get too attached. I don't think I ever told you this. I mean I might've told you about some tiny instances where I was distant and the reason was this but it's a lot more than I let on. Cover your ears people reading this if you are under 18. We barely had any sex during our time together, despite me being a very perverted, dirty minded little heathen. I just couldn't let myself do it. Fall for you I mean. The day we started dating, I went away for a while because I was conflicted. I did what I wanted to, yes but was it really gonna end any less painful than it did?

Do you ever wonder if this is how it's supposed to be? Is this what was meant to be? And I don't care to write THOUGHT-PROVOKING IDEAS or anything (not that I have any anyways) but it gets me wondering if we humans could be more than we are. Would we put aside our differences when push comes to shove? Do this experiment, fake an emergency and see how many of your friends show up. Record the data. You might think that the experiment is over but nah-nah. Now is when it kicks up into the final quarter. Of all those people who came, how many of them would you have called because of desperation? In a real life scenario, how many of those friends would you think of calling because you trust them truly, how many would you call because you know they'd show up but they weren't your first choice, and finally how many of them would you have called as last resorts, when no one else could make it? And you'd find that all those who came didn't do so for the same reasons. Heck